Shyness in Denouncing Those Who Gossip

Q: I’m a girl and I hate gossip and trashtalk. Sometimes I’m with a group of people talking about others and they start gossiping and trashtalking them. I personally hate and despise this, but I am extremely shy, and I can’t stop them from doing it, and also theres nowhere I can go to get away from them. God knows I wish they would talk about something else. It there any sin upon me for sitting with them? What should I do? May God give you success in that which benefits Islam and Muslims.

A: It is a sin upon you unless you denounce that which is wrong, and if they accept [what you say] then praise God, otherwise stop hanging out with them. As God said, “If you see those who mock our revelations, you shall avoid them until they delve into another subject.” [Al-Ana3m 68]. And the Prophet (PBUH) said, “Whoever among you sees reprehensible acts should change it by his own hand, and if he can’t then by his tongue, and if he can’t then by his heart, and that is the weakest faith.” Taken from Muslim’s Sahih and there are many verses with this meaning. God is the Arbitrating Authority.

Sheikh Ibn Baz

Taken from Fataawa al-Maraa “Fatwas on Women” by Sheikh Ibn Baz, Sheikh Authimein, and Sheikh Jabreen. Riyadh, Dar al-Watan lil-Nashr, 1993/1414. Translated by Josh Berer

They Say I’m Complicated

Q: I’m a girl living in a girls dorm. God had guided me with the truth and I’ve become embraced by it, thank God. But I’ve gotten very annoyed with some of the disobedient and reprehensible behavior among my fellow students, such as listening to songs, gossip, and trashtalking. I’ve told them many times but some of them just laugh at me and mock me. They say I’m complicated. Your excellence, please help me, what do I do, and may God bless you.

A: What you need to do is denounce these reprehensible acts to the best of your energy, in friendly and nice words, according to the way mentioned in the verses and sayings of the Prophet (PBUH) you’re aware of. Don’t participate in the music or other prohibited words or deeds, stand aloof from it as best you can, until they change subjects, as God said: “If you see those who mock our revelations, you shall avoid them until they delve into another subject.” [Al-Ana3m 68] When you’ve verbally denounced them as best you can, and remained aloof from their actions, their actions won’t hurt you, and their shame is not on you. As God Almighty said, “O you who believe! take care of your souls; he who errs cannot hurt you when you are on the right way; to Allah is your return, of all (of you), so He will inform you of what you did.” [Al-Maeda 105] So He, the Almighty, has explained that a believer is not harmed by those who err, if he sticks to the truth and follows the right guidance. This is done through denouncing that which is reprehensible, establishing the truth, and inviting them to it nicely and politely. God will give you a release from grief and a way out [of this situation], and will have them benefit from your righteousness if you’re patient and resolved [with God’s favor of you]. God willing, you’ll be extremely happy with a praiseworthy result as long as you’re firm with the truth and denounce that which conflicts with it. As God said, “Good things come to those with faith” [Al-Qasas 83] and, “And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right.” [Al-Ankaboot, 69] . God will give you success when he is pleased, and reward your patience and resolve, and reward your sisters and family, and colleagues when they please him, for he is always listening and he is the guide to a straight path.

Sheikh Ibn Baz

Taken from Fataawa al-Maraa “Fatwas on Women” by Sheikh Ibn Baz, Sheikh Authimein, and Sheikh Jabreen. Riyadh, Dar al-Watan lil-Nashr, 1993/1414. Translated by Josh Berer